SCENE I. The street

Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Quickly and William .

MISTRESS PAGE. Is he at Master Ford’s already, think’st thou?

MISTRESS QUICKLY. Sure he is by this; or will be presently. But truly he is very courageous mad about his throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly.

MISTRESS PAGE. I’ll be with her by and by. I’ll but bring my young man here to school. Look where his master comes; ’tis a playing day, I see.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans .

How now, Sir Hugh, no school today?

EVANS. No, Master Slender is let the boys leave to play.

MISTRESS QUICKLY. Blessing of his heart!

MISTRESS PAGE. Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in the world at his book. I pray you ask him some questions in his accidence.

EVANS. Come hither, William. Hold up your head, come.

MISTRESS PAGE. Come on, sirrah. Hold up your head. Answer your master, be not afraid.

EVANS. William, how many numbers is in nouns?

WILLIAM. Two.

MISTRESS QUICKLY. Truly, I thought there had been one number more, because they say “’Od’s nouns.”

EVANS. Peace your tattlings! What is “fair,” William?

WILLIAM. Pulcher .

MISTRESS QUICKLY. Polecats? There are fairer things than polecats, sure.

EVANS. You are a very simplicity ’oman; I pray you, peace.—What is lapis , William?

WILLIAM. A stone.

EVANS. And what is “a stone,” William?

WILLIAM. A pebble.

EVANS. No, it is lapis . I pray you remember in your prain.

WILLIAM. Lapis .

EVANS. That is a good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?

WILLIAM. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus declined: singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc .

EVANS. Nominativo, hig, haeg, hog , pray you, mark: genitivo, huius . Well, what is your accusative case?

WILLIAM. Accusativo, hinc .

EVANS. I pray you, have your remembrance, child. Accusativo, hung, hang, hog .

MISTRESS QUICKLY. “Hang-hog” is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

EVANS. Leave your prabbles, ’oman.—What is the focative case, William?

WILLIAM. O— vocativo —O—

EVANS. Remember, William; focative is caret .

MISTRESS QUICKLY. And that’s a good root.

EVANS. ’Oman, forbear.

MISTRESS PAGE. Peace.

EVANS. What is your genitive case plural, William?

WILLIAM. Genitive case?

EVANS. Ay.

WILLIAM. Genitive: horum, harum, horum .

MISTRESS QUICKLY. Vengeance of Jenny’s case, fie on her! Never name her, child, if she be a whore.

EVANS. For shame, ’oman.

MISTRESS QUICKLY. You do ill to teach the child such words.—He teaches him to hick and to hack, which they’ll do fast enough of themselves; and to call “whore ’m”!—Fie upon you!

EVANS. ’Oman, art thou lunatics? Hast thou no understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as I would desires.

MISTRESS PAGE. [ To Quickly .] Prithee, hold thy peace.

EVANS. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

WILLIAM. Forsooth, I have forgot.

EVANS. It is qui, quae, quod . If you forget your quis , your quaes , and your quods , you must be preeches. Go your ways and play, go.

MISTRESS PAGE. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

EVANS. He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page.

MISTRESS PAGE. Adieu, good Sir Hugh.

[ Exit Sir Hugh Evans . ]

Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.

[ Exeunt. ]